i dont think im ready for this decision...and im praying you'll change so i wont have to make it =/ but i highly doubt you will and im scared to sign that contract becuase you never did change...

always remember ill love you and i always have..

wow can you say GREAT past two weekends in a row??? dude..this is what life to me is all about..its enjoying everything in the moment..before the time you have is gone...its weird to think that next year will be our senior year and that will be the last year for memories with half the people we know right now..so i think that keeps hitting me..which is why i want to enjoy every moment...

hahaha i never update this thing anymore...but i just wanted to say that life is getting better..im getting closer to people who i wish i would have known for alot longer because they are such great people to be around..im learning how to walk =) and i figure in a months time i wont be needing my crutch anymore =) i pretty much can walk now =)...im learning how to drive, i passed my stupid drivers ed, ive been shopping,,,and ahh i just cant wait for my life to just take place each and every day..you just kind of have to enjoy it..and look at each day as another new step..another new adventure and another new challenge..i think im starting to finally see what everything can be =)

ahh what can i say? suure life can be better..but as of right now..im loving each and every moment..and all the aweomse people that come with it

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so basically people need to grow up and stop acting so immature! im fucking sorry i have the same fucking things as you...GROW UP AND GET THE FUCK OVER IT! ...believe it or not..i will still call you my friend in the end..i guess its becuase i have grown up..and gotten over all the drama..and realized in the end..lifes not worth living without your friends..so if you want to throw it away..then fine..but thast your damn problem..i hope you have fun dealing for the rest of highschool..and graduating without talking to me..who would have stuck by your side no matter what! sureee we would have had those times where we would get mad but we'd always get over it..you guys were my best friends..and the ones i could tell and laugh about anything with..

so goodbye

so this year...

its getting better =)

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okay so even though nobody reads these xanga things anymore..im still writing an entry just to get everything out of my system..becuase sumtimes it just feels good to do that.......newaysss:::

so far this school year sucks..i cant believe i took for granted my sophmore year when i loved every class and everyone in my classes...its like this year i never see any one of the people i saw so much last year and i miss them terribly! I hated how i had to give up german3 to take teacher academy...i wish i could have still done both..but becuase of the periods i had to drop one of them...which i loooved everyone in that class..i felt like i belonged with them..and now i think i might have to take it back up senior year..and im going to forget everything when i do take it again....which means im going to fail..and plus i dont want to take it becuase i wont see any of my aweomse friends which was my whole main point of taking german in the first place! uggg....and then...just on top of everything...this school year is soo stressful! I mean...for some reason the work seems twice as hard as last years and everything is changing this year! People are getting jobs, or have taken on hard classes that require them to have no time on the weekends but to do that work, and its like everything is kinda falling into place for college here in 2 years. Its like were growing up and as we are..were growing apart from one another. I miss being young..and i cant believe i took those grades for granted. At least back then..you had the whole weekend to do things and not stress out about school or homework or the clubs or if you have enough classes/credits to get into college sumday. I know for me, this year will personally be my hardest. Im trying to conquer walking ..and physical therapy from my surgery so i can start a normal life, i will also be trying to learn how to drive and then find a job once i do so i can pay for my car, and also battle having to keep up with the work and stress of everything else. I have a feeling my senior year will also be hard. I think i worry too much on if one day everything im doing now is good enough for college. Im constantly judging the decisions i make and if im not wasting my time. I want to do marching band in senior year..but i absoloutely dread band class! Its the worst class i have a day. I cant play the flute..compared to everyone else, and im soo afraid ill be made a fool...but i want to do it so i can do marching band senior year with kelly,amy,and elise! it seems like it would be a blast! ugg i guess ill have to get over the whole...sucking at band thing and starting enjoying it. I feel like im not taking any classes ill enjoy..and its going to be the same come senior year. I want to take fun classes..classes ill enjoy and can goof off in..so im enjoying my life..but im constantly being pulled in different directions to take certain classes. Ugg..when did life become so stressful?

so as for this year..its going to suck..and im hoping that what im doing now will help me in college...i worry not having 3 years of a foreign language will kill my chances =(

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